1. Feeling good today? Brazen it out. Walk purposefully, head held high, in the manner of a supermodel. Own that NHS lino corridor. So what, you have a mental health problem. Get over it! (this almost never happens)
2. There must be a back-entrance, right? Pick a random way round. Wander in some back gate and walk around in the rain looking for a way in. Pass through atmospherically deserted courtyards. Find yourself in some kind of linen room area. Look desperately for a door. Realise this ain’t going to work and go round the front.
3. Wear a hat and a big hood. Keep eyes down. Ski jackets good for this. Don’t attempt in summer months.
4. Wear really smart office clothes. People will assume you work there. A folder or clipboard may help. If you bump into someone from work have a ready excuse- checking something out, doing some research for my friend who wants to work here, visiting my friend who works here. Note- this approach won’t work so well on your way out of the appointment as you my have been crying and smudged your mascara.
5. Skulk.
6. Rejoice when they move the ED clinic to a new building on the other side of the hospital, down a street outside.
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